So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
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