For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
