I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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