I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
