K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
