So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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