Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
