i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
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