Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
