He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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