What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
