what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
