I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this beer tastes like vomit already
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
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