Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
