U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
