Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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