Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
