we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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