so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Randomize
