So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm gonna fight the coyote
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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