no. you can't hotbox the world.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
you're hired as official boob wrangler
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
