Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
