puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
