she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
