u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
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we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
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My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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