OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
