I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
