my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize