im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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