Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Randomize
