She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
