girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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