Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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