I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
