Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
