WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
