Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
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I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
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I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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