He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
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