Whod you bang
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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