I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
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He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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