why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
