Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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