Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Randomize
