so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
