afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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