I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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