My friends, they love my intelligence
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
