Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
