He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Randomize
