i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
