apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
