tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
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Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He shit in the fireplace
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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