wanna go halves on a baby?
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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