I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
