I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
