You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Come on in and take your pants off
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