i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
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You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
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