How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
