Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
