No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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