she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Alive.
So much puke
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
